Disclaimer: All hail Takahashi-sama, for creating the fine works she has. In that vein of thought, I am using her creations without permission from her, Viz, or anyone else who actually does own the rights to Ranma.

Author's notes: One of those days, I guess. I have no excuse for this one.

Oh, yes… this was the product of an hour challenge, though it might have been better suited for a fifteen minute challenge… I blame society, just like everyone else does.

10:11 PST -- Writing begins

Dear Diary,

I know. It's been a long time, but I've been busy… I guess I just finished another chapter in my life, and it's time to talk about it…

But this is less about me, and more about… him.

I love him… Though I guess I wasn't good enough at showing him how I loved him…

I remember when we first met. The simultaneous thrill of his beating-- Well… it was both a loss and a victory for me, really. I was… a little uncontrolled after it happened, and I'll admit… I reacted more forcefully then I really should have. But I also have to admit… when I saw his curse for the first time in the furo… oh… it was…

He was beautiful. To me, even his cursed form was attractive… I always saw him as a man, though, no matter what his form was. And I fell in love with him… I can only damn myself for not telling him well enough, but… I can't truly blame him for leaving me for… himself. He was… he was so strangely gentle and… and…

I'm not sure how to deal with that, though. His cursed form was just so… so… I don't know. He had the most expressive eyes, and I just wanted to rush over and hug him, and hold him to me and tell him that I'd not let it come between us… and that I'd love him forever…

But I can't, anymore. Because he did leave me.

For his curse.

Well… There was a potential cure, and he jumped on the opportunity, even though it meant betraying his closest friend -- at least, I always thought that he was his best friend… But he betrayed him, and took the magic scroll, and used it, and the next thing I knew there were two of him. One permanently uncursed, and one permanently cursed.

Sometimes he would talk to me about the time he was trapped in his cursed form by magic. And he'd tell me that living his life trapped in his cursed form was always the most frightening thing that he could ever think of…

I… I wish I could have had them both, as wrong as that sounds. I wish I could have kept them, because I did love them both, but I couldn't. And… he left me… for himself.

Oh… I miss him… I miss him so much…

But he told me that I didn't understand, and the only person who ever could understand was himself… Only he could understand the depths of his own pain, and his own fears… And they started spending more time together, ignoring me… it hurt so much to watch…

I still cry sometimes at night, when I remember the look in his eyes the day he left my family home. That look of pity and… anger. Because I wasn't good enough. Oh, why couldn't I have shown him that his curse was acceptable to me before he ran off on that foolish quest for his fake cure?

Oh, Ryouga, why did you leave me?

I… I have to go now, Diary. It's time to feed Katsunishiki again…

Author's notes: 10:38 PST -- Finished writing

Some day, I'll actually USE the full hour allotted to write…

Webmaster: Larry F
Last revision: January 7, 2006